My dad died when I was 20 years old—yesterday marked six years at 6:17 p.m.
There’s no way to prepare for the death of a parent, because everything will change.You will change. Your relationships will change. Where and what you put your energy into will change. Your body and mind will change. Every part of your world will change. Loving your parent will change your life, and losing them will do the same.
Not only was my dad’s time on earth cut way too short, his mental and physical state was completely altered when I was only 19 months old. He was dependent on nursing home staff, doctors, nurses, and others to complete daily tasks for 20 years.
I catch myself grieving his untimely death and the many experiences he was unable to have due to his physical and mental limitations. Then, I remember that the best way I can honor him is by living and becoming all he knew I could be. Experiencing life to the fullest. Saying yes to experiences, trips, and chances that scare me. Never taking a thing for granted.
He worked hard, but boy, did he love his time off with his friends and family. Just cutting up, going boat riding in Natchez or the Mermentau River, and being around people he loved. He was a simple man with a big heart.
Every chance I get to travel to a new place, meet new people, or collect new experiences— he’s always on my mind. It’s hard for me to say no to these things, because I want to live a full, long life. And at the end of it, know that I’ve put on a hell of a show for him.
I miss this man more than I could ever put into words.
As always… I love you forever and ever, Poppa.
Donovan O’Shea Duncan
May 17, 1959 — January 7, 2017
KATHRYN SHEA DUNCAN 